The desire to have sexual relations with another person is referred to as lust. When it works well, lust can cement our attachment to our partners and pave the way for passionate intimate encounters.
At its worst, lust is driven not by what is actually there but by our desires mirrored in the person or situation. There’s also the wild and potentially harmful assumption that sexual desire should be constant in a committed partnership.
Love, however, is a little more complicated. Love, in all its joys and sorrows, is one of the most explored topics in literature and the arts, but it has always seemed mysterious and has been understood in an infinite variety of ways. According to the theory of attachment, love is a fundamental human requirement that keeps us connected to those who matter. To have a safe and secure romantic attachment, one must love, trust, and accept another person completely, flaws and all.
It’s no surprise that people have a hard time telling the difference between love and lust given that they both activate similar neural pathways1 in the brain associated with self-perception, motivation, emotion, reward, and addiction. However, love and lust are not the same thing, and each can exist independently or in tandem with the other, in varying intensities and durations, and even change from one to the other over time.
How does the connection evolve over time?
Experiencing pleasure right now is central to lust. With time and effort, love builds trust and dedication.
How safe do you feel with the person?
Lust can make you act quickly and be desperate. Love is usually steady and safe.
Guide to Distinguishing Love from Lust
While it’s true that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to love, the following distinctions may help you determine whether or not your relationship is based purely on lust and therefore not healthy for the long term:
Why do you want to be with this person?
Lust is only interested in the sexual side of a person. Love is wanting to learn more about someone over time.
Will it last?
Over time, lust fades away. True love lasts forever.
Do you want to put in the effort?
Lust makes an effort to keep things the same. Love broadens to include talking about and processing painful emotions.
Are you experiencing a feeling of being “obsessed”?
Infatuation and lust share many similarities; lust is a high that can feel addictive and take up all of your mental space. A balanced life can be maintained because love offers a more balanced perspective.
Can you overlook the flaws in the person?
When you learn about a person’s flaws, lust loses interest. Love can tolerate both the good and bad in a person.
Source – Tru News Report
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